"I should be a part of your social life. Not the whole thing. I think you need to chill out."
That was the big slap in the face. At that moment, I realized you actually do think I’m as much of a loser as I always joke I am. I realized that it’s a huge possibility you’re actually staying with me out of pity. Do us both a favor: if you really don’t want me, leave. I’m giving you the green light. Don’t torture yourself. Don’t torture me.
We’re just two completely different people. You’re friendly and outgoing and confident, everything that I’m not. I wish I was. That’s why I’m in therapy. I believe I can be fixed.
I do have redeeming qualities, though. But, in this thankless and vain world, they’re seldom recognized. Why can’t I be recognized for my razor-sharp wit???? Why isn’t there an award for overthinking? For being tormented as a child? For having uncontrollable hair? For never being truly wanted? For self-pity???
You never want to skype with me or chat with me anymore, and when we do, you just make me feel guilty for wasting your time and bothering you.
I hope you’re going to see this. And you’re going to try to defend yourself to me. I’ll save you the energy:
"I do love you for you." Okay, is that why you always make passive-aggressive comments about my weight and eating habits? And constantly put me down about my lack of friends?
"We’ve had such good times together. Why ruin it?" Sometimes, the good is not worth the heartache and tears that have plagued me since the beginning of our relationship. I don’t know if I can handle this much longer.
"You can always change!" Ohhhhhhh, this is golden. Change for myself? Of course! I’ve always wanted better thighs from biking six hours a day and starving myself the other eighteen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’ve always wanted to become fluent in your language with little help from you!
"Can’t you see that I love you and want to stay with you?"
Then why don’t you make me fucking feel like you do?